The Not So Fantastic Mario Brothers
by Sinister Silence
Summary: The Mario Bros. get themselves stuck in a bunch of things they shouldn't have done and end up having to wipe the floor with the faces of their enemies...will they prevail, or will their accidents end up costing them...


A/N: I just want to warn you guys that my humor may be...dull...but enjoy anyway. :) ...I think...

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**The Not So Fantastic Super Mario Brothers**

It was a normal day in the Mushroom Kingdom. The birds are singing, the little toads playing, shoppers elbowing one another in the face, and Luigi watching Mario sleep…

"Mario…" Luigi whispered. "Mario"…

His words were met with Mario's loud snoring.

"Mario…get up…or else…"

His words were now met with Mario snoring even louder.

"Fine, I'll just tell Peach to give this HUGE CAKE to someone ELSE."

Luigi was immediately grabbed by the collar of his shirt. "NEVER!" Yelled Mario as he suddenly arose from his slumber. "Where…where is it…tell me now for you have provoked the rage of the one and only, super fantastic, charming yet powerful, and totally sexy, Mario."

"…I'm not so sure that I'll agree with the sexy part…"

"…"

"…"

Mario released his grip on Luigi and went back to sleep…"…I guess…there is no…cake...right Luigi…?"

"Pretty much…just get up before noon or I'll eat all the bacon…flavored broccoli?"

"OK then, enjoy..." Luigi has long left the room as Mario finished his last sentence…

…[]…L…[]…

The green capped plumber sat alone eating breakfast…again… until a random Toad just opened the door and sat down by him.

"Sup, Weegie."

Luigi stared at the Toad before he muttered something. "Don't use that monster's name to address me please."

"No."

"Please?"

"No way Weegie, bro"

"…Get out of my house." The Toad just shakes his head and ran under a blanket.

"You gotta catch me first 'cuz you know what they say, Gotta Catch 'Em All!

Luigi gets up and walks over to the blanket. "Get out from under the blanket or else you'll…you…um…oh…um…doh…forget this." He just jumped on the carpet and heard a milk curdling scream erupt from under the blanket.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! What the heck man! That was my meatball Sub!" Screamed the Toad as he threw the sandwich to the side. "Why are you so cruel you sub killing jerk!"

"Hey, calm down will ya…" Yawned Mario as he walked into the room licking a frozen turkey leg.

"Mario! Thank goodness you're here, this Toad over here won't come out from under the blanket!" Mario looked at the chubby bulge that was under the blanket, before he pulled out his poking stick.

"Hellooo? You home?" Mario continued to prod the object with the stick until some tiny mustard stained hands came out to grab the offender's weapon.

I shall destroy you all if you dare continue to poke me with that absurd piece of nature…" Mario paid no attention to the Toad's warning and kept on poking him 'till he got kneed in his rather large gut…but nothing happened… "Wha…what? How did you just absorb my attack with your stomach…?" Mario smirked as he patted his belly.

"I work out, ya know what I'm sayin'?" He said as he was flexing. "Now git outta our house."

"Y-yes sir!" Yelped out the Toad as he quickly scrambled out from under the blanket and ran out of the home.

"Luigi."

"Hm?" Luigi turned around to meet Mario's gaze.

"How did he get in here anyway? I thought we always locked the doors?"

"I 'dunno, but I really need to start locking the doors with more locks."

"Yeah…well I'll do that later as soon as I finish this lemonade I found on the drawer in our room." The moment Luigi heard "lemonade" and "found it on a drawer" he attempted to snatch to "drink" from Mario's hands but he was to late…

"Mario…"

"This lemonade tastes…odd…must be me…"

"Mario…that's my urine sample…why the hell are you drinking it?" The red plumber stopped drinking the urine and proceeded to vomit out pasta, various mushrooms and rainbow cookies. "Some shady looking guy wearing a dark colored trench coat with some eerie, pitch black darkness covering his face and he was in an alley behind Greasy Pete's Diner asking me if he could have my urine…in a good cup…anyways I'm off to give it to him, see ya!" Luigi grabbed the cup and jumped out the window to his client's last location…"

"Geez…he could have at least given me something else to drink…I'm thirsty…" The pudgy man grumbled as he opened the fridge to retrieve his can beans he left there last night.

…[]…L…[]…

"I'm here with the urine" Luigi called out into the alley. "It's still nice and warm as you requested…" The moment he finished his sentence he was surrounded by dark figures who were strangely radiating a calm, warm aura around them…"W-w-w…who are you guys!?"

The man Luigi saw last night appeared before him. "They are my creations…there not real you see…I've been lonely, so I chose to craft these statues to keep me company…well back to business!...you have the urine with you, correct?"

"Yeah…"

"Give it to me…now…"

Luigi dug into a mini pocket that was located on his suspenders back pocket and pulled out the rather large cup filled with urine and handed it to the dark figure…"Here…"

"Yes, yes, YES!" Cried out the urine obsessed man as he swallowed it down in large gulps. "Yes…this…is what I need, YES!" The man started to levitate before erupting into flames that soon lowered in intensity and surrounded him in a golden, blinding light that coated the surrounding environment in a warm glow.

Luigi could barely make out the figure of an angel. "Whoa…" He walked closer to get a better view, but as he got closer, the shape of an angel was replaced with the figure of a fat, short, and disgusting looking man and the areas the light has touch started to smell like some pretty strong gas…

"Whahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa! It's me, the one you all love, the one that loves all your money, and the dude with style…WARIO!" he stepped out of the dimming light and stood in front of Luigi naked."…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Got any spare overalls? My ass is getting kinda cold…" Wario said as he was scratching is gigantic behind.

"No…get away from me…"Muttered Luigi under his voice…"Why the hell did you need my urine?"

"Some crazy guy cursed me and turned me into a weird shady guy who can never leave this alley…the curse can only be broken if I drink the urine of a passing fool…now gimme yo' clothes."

"No."

"I mean it."

"Never."

"Gimme 'me!"

"Nein."

"Seriously, I want your clothes."

"Nay."

"Then I'm gonna take it by force! Gyaaaaa!" Roared the large man as he charged forward towards Luigi and punched him straight in the stomach, effectively knocking the air out of the green plumber's lungs. He then proceeded to sit on the man and tried to take off his clothes.

"Help! I'm being attacked by a fat man!" Choked out the helpless man under the crushing weight that is better known as Wario.

"Shut the money up!"

"Never! WHOOPS!" He yelled unnaturally loud and "dropped" a coin that rolled around them slowly. Wario watched intently as the single, shiny, golden coin rolled around before coming to a stop in front of them…

"Are you…going to introduce me to your …friend, Luigi?" Whispered Wario as he watched the coin with his eyes beaming in awe of the beauty that stood in front of him.

"Um…the name is…um…Coiny?

"What a beautiful name…" Wario droned as he stared at the coin with undivided attention.

"…" Luigi just pushed off Wario and made a run for it back home.

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**A/N: **This was my first fic and all I want to know is whether I should continue this fic or just trash it completely. constructive criticism would be nice...thank you for reading this!


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